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Thursday, December 24, 2009

Girlfriend Doesn't Realize Boyfriend is on Vacation in Europe

"Sorry I didn't return your calls, honey. I was in Europe. What's your excuse for being a bitch?"


Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Waving Goodbye to 2009

Whirled uses Google Wave to say goodbye to 2009. An awesome video recap of the year.




NCAA Softball Player Carried by Opponents After Injury

Video Captures Incredible Moment in Sports: A display of sportsmanship unlike any other. Members of the opposing softball team help an injured player round the bases to complete her first-ever home run. Watch the video of this amazing moment in sports.



Sunday, December 20, 2009

Cellphone Edited Marriage Proposal

Very creative, romantic rooftop marriage proposal... and yes, she said yes! All shot and edited on a Motorola Z10 mobile phone as well




Saturday, December 19, 2009

Merry Christmas, My Friend

by Christa Holder Ocker
from Chicken Soup for the Kid’s Soul


"I will never forget you," the old man said. A tear rolled down his leathery cheek. "I'm getting old. I can't take care of you anymore."

With his head tilted to one side, Monsieur DuPree watched his master. "Woof woof! Woof woof!" He wagged his tail back and forth, wondering, What’s he up to now?

"I can't take care of myself anymore, let alone take care of you." The old man cleared his throat. He pulled a hankie from his pocket and blew his nose with a mighty blast.

"Soon, I'll move to an old age home and, I'm sorry to say, you can't come along. They don't allow dogs there, you know."

Bent over from age, the old man limped over to Monsieur DuPree and stroked his head.

"Don't worry, my friend. We'll find a home. We'll find a nice new home for you." And, as an afterthought he added, "Why, with your good looks, we'll have no trouble at all. Anyone would be proud to own such a fine dog."

Monsieur DuPree wagged his tail really hard and strutted up and down the kitchen floor. "Woof, woof, woof, woof." For a moment, the familiar musky scent of the old man mingling with the odor of greasy food gave the dog the feeling of well being. But then, a sense of dread took hold again. His tail hung between his legs and he stood very still.

"Come here." With great difficulty, the old man knelt down on the floor and lovingly pulled Monsieur Dupree close to him. He tied a ribbon around his neck with a huge red bow, and then he attached a note to it. Monsieur DuPree wondered what it said.

"It says," the old man read aloud, "Merry Christmas! My name is Monsieur DuPree. For breakfast, I like bacon and eggs -- even corn flakes will do. For dinner, I prefer mashed potatoes and some meat. That's all. I eat just two meals a day. In return, I will be your most loyal friend."

"Woof woof! Woof woof!" Monsieur DuPree was confused and his eyes begged, What's going on?

The old man blew his nose into his hankie once more. Then, hanging onto a chair, he pulled himself up from the floor. Buttoning his overcoat, he reached for the dog's leash and softly said, "Come here my friend." He opened the door against a gust of cold air and stepped outside, pulling the dog behind. Dusk was beginning to fall. Monsieur DuPree pulled back. He didn't want to go.

"Don't make this any harder for me. I promise you, you'll be much better off with someone else." The street was deserted. It began to snow. Leaning into the wintry air, the old man and his dog pushed on. The pavement, trees, and houses were soon covered with a blanket of snow.

After a very long time, they came upon an old Victorian house surrounded by tall trees, which were swaying and humming in the wind. The old man stopped. Monsieur DuPree stopped, too. Shivering in the cold, they appraised the house. Glimmering lights adorned every window, and the muffled sound of a Christmas song was carried on the wind.

"This will be a nice home for you," the old man said, choking on his words. He bent down and unleashed his dog, then opened the gate slowly, so that it wouldn’t creak. "Go on now. Go up the steps and scratch on the door."

Monsieur DuPree looked from the house to his master and back again to the house. He did not understand. "Woof woof! Woof woof!"

"Go on." The old man gave the dog a shove. "I have no use for you anymore," he said in a gruff voice. "Get going now!"

Monsieur DuPree was hurt. He thought his master didn't love him anymore. He didn't understand that, indeed, the old man loved him very much, yet he could no longer care for him. Slowly he straggled toward the house and up the steps. He scratched with one paw at the front door. "Woof woof! Woof woof!"

Looking back, he saw his master step behind a tree just as someone from inside turned the front doorknob. A little boy appeared, framed in the door by the light coming from behind. When he saw Monsieur DuPree, he threw both arms into the air and shouted with delight, "Oh boy! Oh boy! Mom and Dad, come and see what Santa brought!"

Through teary eyes, the old man watched from behind the tree. He saw the mother read the note, and tenderly pull the dog inside. Smiling, the old man wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his cold, damp coat as he disappeared into the night whispering, "Merry Christmas, my friend."

Free Hugs Campaign

Surprisingly Touching.




Quique the Head

Meet Quique, an Argentine born without a body. More about him here.




Mary's Dream

I had a dream, Joseph. I don't understand it, not really, but I think it was about a birthday celebration for our son. I think that was what it was all about. The people had been preparing for it for about six weeks. They had decorated the house and bought new clothes. They'd gone shopping many times and bought elaborate gifts.

It was peculiar, though, because the presents weren't for our son. They wrapped them in beautiful paper and tied them with lovely bows and stacked them under a tree. Yes, a tree, Joseph, right in their house. They'd decorated the tree also. The branches were full of glowing balls and sparkling ornaments. There was a figure on the top of the tree. It looked like an angel might look. Oh, it was beautiful.

Everyone was laughing and happy. They were all excited about the gifts. They gave the gifts to each other, Joseph, not to our son. I don't think they even knew him. They never mentioned his name. Doesn't it seem odd for people to go to all that trouble to celebrate someone's birthday if they don't know him? I had the strangest feeling that if our son had gone to this celebration he would have been intruding.

Everything was so beautiful, Joseph, and everyone so full of cheer, but it made me want to cry. How sad for Jesus - not to be wanted at his own birthday celebration. I'm glad it was only a dream. How terrible, Joseph, if it had been real.


Jack Bauer Interrogates Santa

No one is above the law. Not even Santa.

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

The Dead Man Who Wore Pajamas

by Paolo Coelho

I remember reading a piece of news on the Internet that a man was found dead in Tokyo on 10 June 2004, dressed in his pajamas.

So what? I imagine that most people who die wearing their pajamas either a) died in their sleep, which is a blessing, or b) were in the company of their relatives or on a hospital bed – death did not come quickly, so they all had time to grow used to “the undesirable one,” as Brazilian poet Manuel Bandeira called it.

The news goes on: when he died, he was in his room. So, the hospital hypothesis is out and we are left with just the possibility that he died in his sleep, without suffering any, without even realizing that he would not see the light of day.

But there is still another possibility: assault followed by death.

Those who have visited Tokyo know that the gigantic city is at the same time one of the safest places in the world. I remember once stopping to eat with my editors before taking a trip to the interior of Japan – all our suitcases were in sight on the rear seat of the car. Immediately I said that it was very dangerous, someone was sure to come along, see all those bags and make off with our clothes, documents and so on. My editor just smiled and told me not to worry – he knew of no such incident in all his long years of life (in fact, nothing happened to our suitcases, although I kept tense all through dinner).

But to return to our dead man in pajamas: there was no sign of struggle, violence or anything of the sort. In an interview, a Metropolitan Police officer stated that it was almost certainly a case of a sudden heart attack. So the hypothesis of homicide was also eliminated.

The body had been found by workers of a construction company on the second floor of a building in a housing complex that was about to be torn down. Everything led to the idea that the dead man in the pajamas, unable to find anywhere to live in one of the most densely and expensive cities in the world, had simply decided to settle where he did not have to pay any rent.

And now for the tragic part of the story: our dead man was only a skeleton dressed in pajamas. At his side was an open newspaper dated 20 February 1984; a calendar on the table nearby gave the same date.

In other words, he had been there for twenty years.

And nobody had noticed his absence.

The man was identified as a former employee of the company that had built the housing complex, where he had moved to in the early 80s soon after his divorce. He was just over fifty years on the day that all of a sudden, reading the newspaper, he left this world.

His ex-wife never sought for him. It was discovered that the company where he worked had gone bankrupt right after the building had been finished, since no apartment was sold, and so they did not find it odd that the man never turned up for his daily activities. His friends were looked up, and they put his disappearance down to the fact that he had borrowed some money and could not pay it back.

The news ends informing us that the mortal remains were delivered to the ex-wife. I finished reading the article and wondered at the last sentence: the ex-wife was still alive, and for twenty years had not even looked up her husband. What must have gone through her head? That he no longer loved her, that he had decided to remove her for ever from his life. That he had met another woman and disappeared without a trace. That life is like that, once the divorce procedures are over there is no point in carrying on a relationship that has been legally terminated. I imagine what she must have felt upon finding out the fate of the man with whom she had shared a good part of her life.

Then I thought of the dead man in his pajamas, of solitude so utter and abysmal that for twenty years nobody in this whole wide world had realized that he had simply disappeared without leaving a trace. And my conclusion is that worse than feeling hunger and thirst, worse than being jobless, suffering for love, in despair over some defeat – worse than all this is to feel that nobody, absolutely nobody in this world, cares for us.

Let us at this moment say a quiet prayer for this man and let us offer him our thanks for making us reflect on how important our friends are.

Saturday, December 05, 2009

Man Updates Facebook Relationship Status at the Altar

After being pronounced man and wife, man takes out his cellphone to update his relationship status on Facebook.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Employee Handbook

If you think your employer is tough, try working here.

DRESS CODE

It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers and carrying a $600 Gucci Bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress somewhere in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

SICK DAYS

We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

PERSONAL DAYS

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.

BEREAVEMENT LEAVE

This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

RESTROOM USE

Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. There is now a strict 3 minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.

LUNCH BREAK

Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast.

THANK YOU!

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation, and input should be directed elsewhere.

Have a nice week!

THE MANAGEMENT

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Paranormal Goativity

The scariest movie ever made...for goats!



This is an actual film called The Men Who Stare at Goats. In this quirky dark comedy inspired by a real life story you will hardly believe is actually true, astonishing revelations about a top-secret wing of the U.S. military come to light when a reporter encounters an enigmatic Special Forces operator on a mind-boggling mission.

Reporter Bob Wilton (Ewan McGregor) is in search of his next big story when he encounters Lyn Cassady (Academy Award winner George Clooney), a shadowy figure who claims to be part of an experimental U.S. military unit.

Want a Bike?

Very funny ad created to make you want a real bike from Adelaide's leading Motorcycle Superstore, Coast Yamaha.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Random Book Quotes

"The more I know of the world, the more I am convinced that I shall never see a man whom I can really love. I require so much!"
-Sense and Sensibility

"I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun."
-Pride and Prejudice

"Think of a baby, how she smiles and coos and reaches for the sun. Does she care if her little legs are chubby or if her belly is round? Of course not. All she knows is the joy of love."
-The Cinderella Pact

"I pull open the door and climb in, astutely observing that he is without a wedding ring and that this could be the start of a whirlwind romance thanks to my exploded car, but I have no expectations. Expectations hurt."
-The Cinderella Pact

"Even now, whenever I see his face creasing into a real smile, I feel a bit of a lift inside. Because I know he's not like that with everyone. He's smiling like that because it's me. For me."
-Shopaholic Takes Manhattan

"But as it came and went, disappearing and reappearing like the moon on a windswept and cloudy night, i felt myself withdrawing bit by bit, to a place where he could neither reach nor disappoint me. It was safer thus."
-Helen of Troy

"How can any of us bear what the years have put upon us? We cannot. That is why the aged are so stooped."
-Helen of Troy

"Kate is not going to die sooner because you have one more glass of wine, or because you stay overnight in a hotel, or because you let yourself crack up at a bad joke."
-My Sister's Keeper

"But I don't really think it's something he does on purpose. It's the way he gets noticed, you know? I mean, imagine what it would be like if you were a squirrel living in the elephant cage at the zoo. Does anyone ever go there and say, Hey, check out that squirrel? No, because there's something so much bigger you notice first."
-My Sister's Keeper

"A runaway train is an accident. Me, I'll jump in front of the tracks. I'll even tie myself down in front of the speeding engine. There's some illogical part of me that still believes if you want Superman to show up, first there's got to be someone worth saving."
-My Sister's Keeper

"I became a firefighter because I wanted to save people. But I should have been more specific. I should have named names."
-My Sister's Keeper

"The reason it's all off-kilter? The earth's axis wobbles. Life isn't nearly as stable as we want it to be."
-My Sister's Keeper

"When you come to the end, that's where God begins."
-Have a Little Faith

"Mom, you're not listening with your eyes."
-Have a Little Faith

"It is far more comforting to think God listened and said no, than to think that nobody's out there."
-Have a Little Faith

"Sometimes the mileage you get out of a great story is worth the hassle of actually going through the experience."
-Diary of a Working Girl

"The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. Maybe they always have been and will be. Maybe we’ve lived a thousand lives before this one and in each of them we’ve found each other. And maybe each time, we’ve been forced apart for the same reasons. That means that this goodbye is both a goodbye for the past ten thousand years and a prelude to what will come."
-The Notebook

"We sit silently and watch the world around us. This has taken a lifetime to learn. It seems only the old are able to sit next to one another and not say anything and still feel content. The young, brash and impatient, must always break the silence. It is a waste, for silence is pure. Silence is holy. It draws people together because only those who are comfortable with each other can sit without speaking. This is the great paradox."
-The Notebook

"Dusk, I realized, is just an illusion, because the sun is either above the horizon or below it. And that means that day and night are linked in a way that few things are; there cannot be one without the other, yet they cannot exist at the same time. How would it feel, I remember wondering, to be always together, yet forever apart? I know the answer now. I know what it’s like to be day and night now; always together, forever apart."
-The Notebook

"My life? It isn’t easy to explain. It has not been the rip-roaring spectacular I fancied it would be, but neither have I burrowed around with the gophers. I suppose it has most resembled a blue-chip stock: fairly stable, more ups than downs, and gradually trending upwards over time. I’ve learned that not everyone can say this about his life.
But do not be misled. I am nothing special, of this I am sure. I am a common man with common thoughts, and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me this has always been enough."
-The Notebook

"Passion is passion. It’s the excitement between the tedious spaces, and it doesn’t matter where it’s directed…It can be coins or sports or politics or horses or music or faith…the saddest people I’ve ever met in life are the ones who don’t care deeply about anything at all."
-Dear John

"Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it, you must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it. If you don’t, you will leak away your innate contentment."
-Eat Pray Love

"Friendship—my definition—is built on two things,” he said. “Respect and trust. Both elements have to be there. And it has to be mutual. You can have respect for someone, but if you don’t have trust, the friendship will crumble."
-The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

"That what I need to survive is not Gale’s fire, kindled with rage and hatred. I have plenty of fire myself. What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. That it can be good again. And only Peeta can give me that."
-Mockingjay

"It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart.”
-Mockingjay

"There’s this piercing sort of pain where my heart is. Maybe I’m even having a heart attack, but it doesn’t seem worth mentioning."
-Mockingjay

Friday, November 13, 2009

Glee Quotes

That was the greatest moment of my life. Why? Because I loved what I was doing.
-Will

But provide what, exactly? The understanding that money is the most important thing or the idea that the only life worth living is the one you're passionate about?
-Emma to Will

I don't think any one decision makes your life. Life's a series of choices. A combination of moments. Little ones that add up to big ones that create who you are.
-Finn

When I saw you, right after you got that call, and you were so hurt and so upset, it just killed me. I’m not saying I’m going to hide in the closet. I’m proud of who I am. I’m just saying that I love you more than I love being a star.
-Kurt to his dad

We’re not so different, you and me. We’re both mildly attractive and extremely grating. Love is hard for us. We look for boys we know we can never have. Mr. Schue is a perfect target for our self-esteem issues. He can never reciprocate our feelings, which only reinforces the conviction that we’re not worthy of being loved. Trust me, I’m a cautionary tale. You need to get some self-respect, Rachel. Get that mildly attractive groove back.
-Suzy Pepper to Rachel Berry

But you should know that there's some boy out there who's going to like you for everything you are. Including those parts of you that even you don't like. Those are gonna be the things he likes the most.
-Will to Rachel

I can't dance, and I never will. But... that's okay. I'm never going to dunk a basketball or kill a lion, either. I have to focus on dreams that I can make come true.
-Artie

That’s not a dream. A dream is something that fills up the emptiness inside, the one thing that you know if it came true, all the hurt would go away. You singing 'Don’t Cry for me Argentina' in front of a sold out crowd isn’t a fantasy, its an inevitability.
-Jesse to Rachel

Random TV Quotes

ALLY MCBEAL

I actually like the quest – the search. That's the fun. The more lost you are, the more you have to look forward to. What do you know? I'm having a great time and I don't even know it.

Sometimes... there's no point in the truth if the only thing it will do is cause pain.

It's a problem being beautiful. It's only the handsome men that ask us out because they're the only ones who think they have a chance. And handsome men are dolts. Life is unfair to us.

I suppose the real fraud is this mindset that has been ingrained in us since childhood – that people get the person of their dreams. Most don't. Does that mean she shouldn't have gotten married? Does that mean she doesn't have the right to commit herself to a man she nevertheless loves. And she was committed. She never left. She wasn't unfaithful, unless you count those blasted dreams. I've spent my entire life doing what she's done. Loving the one not there, somebody I've never met. I have a rough idea of what he looks like. I have a more specific take on what he thinks – what he feels. I have an almost exact sense of how he makes me feel. I've never met him. I may never meet him. I've actually been told that he's not even out there. The men or women in our dreams live in our dreams. And in the real world, we should be allowed to settle for the ones who come close and that's what she did. And it was the reasonable thing to do.

Whoever said that "plenty of fish in the sea" thing was lying. Sometimes there's only one fish. Trust me.


HOUSE

Chase: "I don't hate him. I loved him until I figured out it hurts a lot less to just not care. You don't expect him to turn up to your football match? No disappointments. You don't expect a call on your birthday, don't expect to see him for months? No disappointments. You want us to go make up? Drink a few beers together, nice family hug? I've given him enough hugs. He's given me enough disappointments."

Wright: It must be miserable, always assuming the worst in people.
House: Cut the crap, you're dying!
Wright: And you're clever, you're witty and you are a coward. You're scared of taking chances.
House: I take chances all the time. It's one of my worst qualities.
Wright: On people?
House: (he pauses a while considering) Wanting to believe the best about people doesn't make it true.
Wright: Being afraid to believe it doesn't make it false.


GREY’S ANATOMY

At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines... that are way too dangerous to cross.

You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.

At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. It's like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And it's not so important happy ever after, just that it’s happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you, and once in a while people may even take your breath away.

A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying.

Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop.

Intimacy is a four syllable word for, "Here's my heart and soul, please grind them into hamburger, and enjoy." It's both desired, and feared. Difficult to live with, and impossible to live without. Intimacy also comes attached to the three R's... relatives, romance, and roommates. There are some things you can't escape. And other things you just don't want to know.

Pain, you just have to ride it out, hope it goes away on its own, hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers, you just breath deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed but sometimes the pain gets you where you least expect it. Hits way below the belt and doesn't let up. Pain, you just have to fight through, because the truth is you can't outrun it and life always makes more.

Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass. And when the dam bursts, all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long. We are tired, we are scared, denying it doesn't change the truth. Sooner or later we have to put aside our denial and face the world. Head on, guns blazing. De Nile. It's not just a river in Egypt, it's a freakin' ocean. So how do you keep from drowning in it?

I have an aunt who whenever she poured anything for you she would say "Say when". My aunt would say "Say when" and of course, we never did. We don't say when because there's something about the possibility, of more. More tequila, more love, more anything. More is better.

There's something to be said about a glass half full. About knowing when to say when. I think it's a floating line. A barometer of need and desire. It's entirely up to the individual. And depends on what's being poured. Sometimes all we want is a taste. Other times there's no such thing as enough, the glass is bottomless. And all we want, is more.

I've been lying in this bed for close to a year, and I've had a lot of time to look back on my life. And the things that I remember best - those are the things I wasn't supposed to do and I did them anyway. The thing is, life is too damn short to be following these rules.

At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing, where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, is usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them, the people that are still with you at the end of the day - those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need.


HEROES

Where does it come from? This quest, this need to solve life's mysteries when the simplest of questions can never be answered. Why are we here? What is the soul? Why do we dream? Perhaps we'd be better off not looking at all. Not delving, not yearning. That's not human nature. Not the human heart. That is not why we are here.

For all his bluster, it is the sad province of Man that he cannot choose his triumph. He can only choose how he will stand when the call of destiny comes. Hoping that he'll have the courage to answer.

We all imagine ourselves the agents of our destiny, capable of determining our own fate. But have we truly any choice in when we rise? Or when we fall? Or does a force larger than ourselves bid us our direction. Is it evolution that takes us by the hand? Does science point our way? Or is it God who intervenes, keeping us safe?

These people, their future is written on their DNA.
Just as the past, it seems, is written in stone.
Was the die cast from the very beginning?
Or is it in our own hands to alter the course of destiny?
Of all our abilities, freedom will truly makes us unique.
With it, we have a tiny, but potent, chance to deny fate.
And only with it can we find our way back to being human.

To everything, there is a season and a time to every purpose.
The earth spins at 1,000 miles an hour as we desperately try to keep from being thrown off. Like the first blush of winter, that signals a great migration.
Was there any warning of our arrival? A sign, a single event that set this chain into motion? Was it a whisper in God’s ear?
Survive. Adapt. Escape.
And if we could mark that single moment in time, that first hint of the prophecy of approaching danger, would we have done anything differently? Could it have been stopped? Or was the die long ago cast? And if we could go back, alter its course, stop it from happening… Would we?

People are fragile, like tea cups. All around them the world is changing but they simply don't want to deal with it. They don't want to know what is happening to us as a species.

Death is the one thing that connects us all. It reminds us that what’s really important is who we’ve touched, and how much we’ve given. It makes us realize that we have to be good to one another.


DAWSON’S CREEK

How can you be friends with someone when every time you see them you think about how much more you really want?

It's agony. Complete, excruciating agony. It's like your heart has been ripped out of your chest and stomped on, and you can't breathe... you don't want to eat... you can't function. It's the most intense pain that you'll ever feel, and the worst part is, there's no way to relieve it. It's unyielding, merciless torture, and you *know* that it's yours for life.

Arthur Brooks: And remember, you're still young enough to fall in and out of love a few more times before you get it right.
Dawson: That doesn't sound very fun.
Arthur Brooks: It isn't... And it is... And it isn't. But it's worth it. Every single time.

I'm scared that I'm gonna end up alone. I'm scared that I'm always gonna be someone's friend, or sister, or confidant but never quite... someone's everything. Mostly I'm scared I'm never gonna meet a guy that I love as much as I love you.

To continue to love someone when there's no promise of that love ever thriving, now that's true romance.

Did it ever occur to you that you're so caught up in trying to make the right choice that you've never stopped to consider the possibility that there may not be a right choice, or a wrong choice, just a bunch of choices? All the really exciting things in life require more courage than we currently have, a deep breath and a leap. The kind of fear you're talking about... sometimes it's how you know what's worthwhile.

No matter where you go or who you go there with, you'll always have a piece of my heart.

Goodnight little star. Maybe tonight is the night that my wish will come true. Sleep tight little star, I'll be dreaming of you. And if I wake up tomorrow and he's still just my friend, then I'll see you tomorrow little star, to try this wish again.

You know i used to spend every day thinking about you and dreaming about you, and everytime you walked by i lost myself, do you know what that feels like? And you couldn’t possibly know what it feels like to have that person not have the same feelings back. Look, I’m sorry if you miss the way I looked at you, but I don’t miss the way you never looked at me.

You wanna know what the truth is? I still love you and I probably will love you for a very long time. But I can't just be your buddy, because as much as i enjoy the concept of being "just friends" in reality it's a bizarre form of torture and i'm just not willing to participate in it. so right now what i wanna do is just move on and get over you and the only way for me to do that is to not be around you anymore.

Letting go isn't a one time thing, its something you do everyday, over and over again

Anticipation is the purest form of pleasure. And the most reliable. And that while the things that actually happened to you would invariably disappoint you, the things that never happened to you would never dim, never fade. They'd always be engraved on your heart with sort of a sweet sadness to them.

You know, it really hurts sometimes because i know he's out there falling in and out of love with these girls that aren't me.

But that's just it, the butterflies never seem to accompany the right people. All the nice guys who are right for you, they never make your stomach go flip flop...

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Taylor Swift's SNL Monologue

Taylor Swift hosts Saturday Night Live. You might think she will talk about Joe Jonas, Taylor Lautner, or Kanye, but she's NOT gonna talk about that on her SNL monologue. No siree. XD

Monday, November 09, 2009

Don't Take Away My Coffee

By Rebecca Jay
From Chicken Soup for the Soul: Count Your Blessings


They're threatening to close my favorite coffee shop.

The economy is weakening, and people are losing their jobs. But they can't close my coffee shop. I listen to the national and local news channels. I understand budgets, dollars and severance pay. Every morning when I get ready for work, I pray that the next morning I'll still have a job. I want to get ready for work every Monday through Friday.

But they can't close my coffee shop.

Eight years ago, I sat in front of a judge and listened to her end my marriage. It wasn't what I had envisioned when I walked down the aisle in my white dress. But it happened, and as a middle-of-the-demographics woman, I was suddenly thrust back into the marketplace. I worked three jobs, saved every possible penny and finished raising my son.

One of the things that kept me going was my goal to someday be able to afford a drink at the coffee shop. I watched other people going in those hallowed doors and coming out with smiles on their faces. They seemed to have no problems, no financial concerns. Surely none of them worked three jobs like me and saved every scrap of food for leftovers. They carried Styrofoam cups filled with mocha, caramel or some other type of sugary foam. Some lucky guys and gals carried metal cups with the coffee shop brand on them. How I wanted one of those cups! How I longed to be part of the gang!

As the calendar months in my planner flipped over, I continued to work various jobs. Two years passed, and life was still in the survival mode. Then one day, a co-worker noticed that my birthday was coming. "What do you want?" he asked.

It was too easy. "My love language is coffee."

On my birthday, I opened his card and saw the answer to my dream--a gift card with the coffee shop logo. You would think that I might have scurried out of the office during my lunch hour to gobble that coveted drink. But I had waited too long for this goal to hurry happiness.

I planned the right moment: a Saturday morning when I didn't have to work. My son was at band practice. I was alone and geared for joy. After fixing my hair and putting on my best make-up, I drove carefully across town. Slowly, savoring each ray of happiness--I parked and walked toward the door with the coffee logo on the front.

Once inside, my senses exploded into overload. Brownies beckoned from glass cases. Those coveted metal cups gleamed from a corner shelf. And the menu--rows and rows of delightful possibilities. I would choose wisely, and make my gift card last.

"I'll have a small chocolate something," I told the young man behind the counter.

"A tall mocha?" he asked.

Did I sound like a rookie at this game? Probably. No doubt this polite young man was laughing inside. I didn't care.

"Yes, that's right," I said, squaring my shoulders like a sudden expert. "A tall mocha."

My treasure and I sat on a tweed sofa while I slowly sipped. Nothing I had tasted previously in my entire fifty-plus years gave me such pleasure. I pulled a novel from my purse and read about a faraway place, imagining myself there, with another tall mocha--or maybe the largest size, whatever that was called. I pretended I had all the time in the world and was as rich as all the people who kept opening that door and ordering their favorite drinks.

During the next few months, I carved out special outings at my coffee shop. Each time, I tried a different drink. By the time I had used up my gift card, I had a relationship with chai latte, hazelnut and a delightful pumpkin spice. But that first mocha still remained the favorite.

Now that my son is raised and I'm working only two jobs, I visit my coffee shop more often. I still ask for those gift cards on my birthday or at Christmas. Last year I saved enough coins to buy myself one of those treasured cups. It sits on my desk at work, but I don't always drink from it. Sometimes I just stare at it and say a prayer of thanks that I'm finally out of the hole.

You see, they can't close my coffee shop. We all need a place to find hope.


"Starbucks represents something beyond a cup of coffee."
~Howard Schultz

Sulat ni Nanay at Tatay

Ang sulat ni Nanay at Tatay. Warning: it will make you cry.

Closing Cycles

by Paulo Coelho

One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters – whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.

Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents’ house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden? You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won’t take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.

None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us. What has passed will not return: we cannot for ever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back. Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.

That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts – and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place. Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.

Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the “ideal moment.” Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person – nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.

Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life.

Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust.

Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.

The Best Version of You

by Yel Calalo

Manila International Airport , 2:00 am. It's been two years since she had last seen the Manila International Airport . Not much has changed.Her last memory of this airport was when Miguel dropped her off. She was on her way to New York to pursue a career in Wall Street. "Promise me something will you? Please don't get married until I come back?" She jokingly told him as she lifted up her backpack. "LOL. Very funny. Ikaw ang mag-promise. Promise me you won't run off with some nerdy economist in the next two years."

"Let's see, shall we. Bye, Miguel. I'll call you as soon I get to New York." That was her last memory in this place. The warm Manila air made her feel a bit restless and yet she feels excited. This is the first time in two years she'll be seeing Miguel again. She was thoughtfully going through the immigration counters, thinking of how much she missed seeing Miguel. How different would he be now? Sure he sends her regular weekly e-mails and pictures but being the busy person that she had always been, she didn't get the time to chat with him and buy a webcam.

She's finally out. "Where is Miguel?" She wondered. "Ah there!" she exclaimed when she saw the silver gray Nissan Patrol parked near the exit. TGW926. Yup, that's Miguel alright. Her heart was leaping ahead of her as the driver got off. "Hey! I missed you!" He said, as he hugged her.

"I missed you too. So much." She said, as she hugged him back. It was warm. It felt good to be back. It felt great to feel his hug. "Let me get those." He said pointing at her luggage. "Then we'll have more time for hugging and chika."

"Okay."

Edsa, 4:30 am. Miguel's cellphone rings. Mama, the name flashes on the screen.

"You should really get that."

"No, you should get that. She's been waiting for you. She insist that we go straight to her after I pick you up form the airport. She also insist that you spend tomorrow with her." Miguel was talking about her mother. Miguel was an only child and his mother wanted a daughter. She would often tell Bea that since she doesn't have a mom anymore, she should let Tita Doris be her second mom. She loved Bea as if she were her own daughter.

"Hello? Yes, Tita. How are you nap po?... ah opo. Miguel already told me. Sige po. Okay po. I'll see you later." She turns off the phone and looks out the window. The phone rings again, this time the name "Sugar" flashes on the screen. Hmmm, "Sugar." He was quick. He got a hold of the phone and answered it. "Hello. Yeah. Pauwi na. I'm with her na. Yeah. Tomorrow, I will. Promise. We'll see you tomorrow."

We? Is that supposed to mean me and him? See Sugar? Who is Sugar, anyway? "Who was that?" she couldn't keep herself from asking. "Sugar ha?"

"I'll introduce her tomorrow. Uwi muna tayo sa bahay. By the way, kamusta na si Edward?" "Edward?"

"Oo, si Edward, naalala mo yung boyfriend na iniwan mo sa New York ? Anong klase ka ba naming girlfriend? Kaya hindi kita niligawan eh. Baka makalimutan mo rin ako."

"Ah si Edward. Hayun. Nasa New York ." Miguel has met Edward when he came to New York to give Bea a surprise visit. He seems a nice guy. Not the geeky economist Miguel pictured Bea would end up with. He is actually a cool guy and loves Bea a lot.

"He called me up, a week ago, asking a lot of things about you. Parang may balak ata?"

"Balak na?" "Tell me, did he propose to you? He sounded like he was going to propose to you kasi." "Ah look, here we are at Tita Doris."

At Tita Doris', 4:45 am. A pleasantly plump woman enters the living room. She was in her mid-fifties, a familiar warm smile and two open arms. She welcomed Bea, gave her a big hug and kissed her on the cheek. "Hay anak, kamusta ka na? Na-miss na kita. Pinakain ka ba nito si Miguel?"

"Opo, Tita." She looked around. Not much has changed in this house. She remembers spending her college days in this house. She remembers sinking into Tita Doris' arms when her mom died. She remembers only good things about this woman. She can't remember a time when she had been unkind to her and yes, she loves her like her own mother.

"Iha, sabihan mo nga yang si Miguel. Sabihin mo 'wag padalos-dalos magdesisyon. "

"Po?"

"Mama naman. Let Bea rest. I'll tell her everything tomorrow." Miguel interrupted his mother before she can spill the beans.

"Ha? What was that all about?" Bea was curious.

"Bukas na lang."

"Okay. Tita, if it's okay I'll go rest now." She hugged her, and proceeded to climb the stairs. Miguel followed her carrying her luggage.

"Alam mo I missed this house. Uy sino ba si Sugar? Tsaka bakit parang worried nanay mo sa iyo?"

"Bukas na. Sugar is having lunch here."

"Hmmm, intriguing, pero sige. Bukas na." They were both standing as the door to the guest room. "Alam mo, it's really good to be back in this house. I'll see you tomorrow."

Tita Doris' 10:00 am. She woke up, sunlight flooding her bedroom. She was able to rest. She got up, arranged the bed sheets and took a nice, cold shower. Minutes later, she was down at the garden having brunch with Tita Doris.

"Hi! Tita. Where is Miguel?"

"Sinundo si Sugar."

"Sino ba yang Sugar na yan? Nai-intriga na ako."

"Iha, I'll let Miguel tell you who Sugar is. Promise me something, though. Whatever happens you'll always be my daughter, Bea?"

She felt scared. Why was Tita Doris suddenly serious? "Opo naman."

"Anyway, iha. I heard from Miguel your boyfriend sounded like he was going to propose a week ago. Did he propose?"

Bea looked at her hands, bare of any engagement ring. She looked at Tita Doris and smiled. Before she could answer, Miguel showed up. With him is a woman she had not seen before. She was of medium frame, shoulder length hair and looked very feminine.

"Sugar, the sister I never had, Bea. Bea, Sugar, my fiance`." It felt as if somebody had thrown cold water on her. His what? Blood rushed to her head.She blushed. Her cheeks felt very warm. She couldn't swallow. Her heart beating a hundred beats per minute.

"Your what?" She looked at Miguel, blushing then suddenly white as with shock. "I'm sorry, Sugar but this is quite a surprise. Miguel has never mentioned you in any of his e-mails," she said as she looked at Sugar with a confused look. She looked at Tita Doris, she looked back as if she was consoling her.

"Yeah, I got engaged. I'm keeping my promise. I'm getting married on Saturday. O di ba you're here so in essence I've kept my promise."

She managed to smile faintly. She hugged Miguel and congratulated him.She even managed to tell Sugar "You got a catch here, girl. Take good care of him or else I will snatch him under your nose." It sounded as if she was just joking, turning over a very important possession to it's next owner. In the deepest recesses of her person, she knew she meant it. "He told me a lot of nice things about you." Sugar said, smiling at her as if they had been friends for the longest time.

"I'm sure he has."

Lunch was served. All of Bea's favorite Filipino dishes. She and Sugar spent time chatting the afternoon away, looking at Bea's and Miguel's college photos and yearbooks. She found out that Sugar likes most of the things she does. They both came from the same high school. As she tried to get to know Sugar better during their afternoon chat, she realized that not only was she perfect for Miguel, she also seemed like the best gal pal Bea could find. They talked about the wedding details, the dress, the ring, the shoes, the tiara. They like almost the same places, the same styles, the same shops. She told Sugar they should do shopping marathon together. Had it been another day, she would be telling herself that this is really a great opportunity to find someone who understands her shopping needs.Except that this is not one of those days? Except that this woman, this perfect, feminine girlfriend was Miguel's fiance`.

Bea's phone rings. The name Boyfriend flashes.

"You should really get that" Sugar told Bea.

"Yeah, I guess I should. Hello? Yes? I'm good. I'm here at Miguel's. Oh have in front of me Sugar, Miguel's fiance`." The words almost got stuck in her throat, but she still managed to give Sugar a smile. "Listen, I'll call you later. I have very good news for you."

Miguel sat down beside Bea. Sugar was looking at them and asked "So tell me? Was there never a time the two of you were more than Platonic?" Bea and Miguel looked at each other then looked at their own hands. Miguel's gaze turned to Sugar. He answered "Of course not. Bea and I were never like that." "As in?" Sugar inquired. "LOL, oo naman. She was a handful. Too much to handle for me. I can't keep up with her. She's never stands still." Miguel looked at Bea and smiled, his eyes turning into slits as his dimples gloriously show.

"I guess that's the way for you. But not for Edward." Bea replied, with a little hint of disappointment. "Okay lang yun. Edward is tough enough." Miguel was still smiling.

"Wait, speaking of Edward. I need to call him."

Bea left the garden and went up to her room to call Edward. "Hello? Edward. Here goes. Yes. The answer is Yes."

*********
The wedding went well. It was one of the most elegant weddings she had seen. Sugar had everything covered and she was a very beautiful, blushing bride. "I, Miguel, take you, Sugar, as my friend and love, beside me and apart from me, in laughter and in tears, in conflict and tranquility, asking that you be no other than yourself, love what I know of you, trusting what I do not know yet, in all the ways that life may find us." Bea felt a stab of pain hitting her heart. She slowly got up, walked away from the spectators. Tears streaming down her flushed cheeks.

**********
Bea is once again on her way to the airport. Miguel is driving for her, this time with a wedding ring on his left finger.

"Hay, here we go again. I'm driving you to the airport. Kailan na naman kaya tao magkikita?"

"Ewan ko. Tell me something," her tone all too serious. "What was it that you love about Sugar? How did you know she was the one?" Miguel just smiled. "Dali na ano? Malay mo I need to decide in a couple of days diba?"

"You know what I love about her? The same things I loved about you before. The only difference is that she's not as ambitious as you are. When you left for New York two years ago, I knew I don't have a place in the life you've chosen. I don't blame you for that. You're good in your field and I thought to myself that it's your right to move on without me. Moving away was a decision you made for yourself. I know this sounds silly and you might nag me about it but I found the better version of you in Sugar.She's so much like you in so many ways but the only difference is she loves me more than you do."

She wanted to cry the tears she had kept as he witnessed him say his vows, but kept her composure. She just chuckled a laugh. How could he move on without her? Why was it easy for him and not for her? As she got off the car, she gave Miguel one last hug. This time she felt her heart heavy.

"I guess this is goodbye?" she told Miguel.

"Wait, I'm not letting you out until you answer question. Did Edward propose?"

Bea showed Miguel her left hand. In it was a one carat diamond solitaire ring set in platinum. "Yes." Miguel let out a sigh and congratulated her. As Miguel turned his gaze from the steering wheel to Bea's face, he saw a single tear fall from her right eye and then she said, "If it gives any consolation. Edward was the best version of you that I can find in New York."

Meantime Girl

She's the one you call when you're bored because she makes you laugh. She's the one you talk to when you're feeling down because she's willing to lend an ear and be a friend. She's not the one you call when you need a date to your company's Christmas party, or to go dancing with on a Saturday night. She's the one you spend time with between girlfriends, before you find 'The One'. You know, the one you keep in the MEANTIME.

She's not one of the guys, not a tomboy, but you don't look at her as a "real" woman, either. She's not bitchy enough, moody enough, or sexy enough to be seen in the light. She's too laid-back, too easily amused by the same things your male buddies are amused by. She's too understanding, too comfortable. Doesn't make you feel nervous or excited the way a 'real' woman does. But she's cool, nice and funny, and attractive enough that when you're lonely and need intimate female companionship, she'll do just fine.

You don't have to wine and dine her because she knows the real you already, and you don't have any facades to keep up, no pretense to preserve. You're not trying to get anything of substance out of her. She's not easy, but you know that she cares about you and is attracted to you. And you know that you don't have to explain yourself or the situation, that she'll be able to cope with the fact that this isn't the beginning of a relationship or that there's any possiblity that you have any real romantic feelings for her.

It won't bother her that you'll get up in the morning, put on your pants, say goodbye, and go on a date with the woman you've been mooning over for weeks who finally agreed to go out with you. She'll settle for a goodbye hug and a promise to call her and tell her how the date went. She's just so cool.. why can't all women be like that?!

But deep down, if you really think about it (which you probably don't.. because to you, the situation between the two of you isn't important enough to merit any real thought) you know that it's really not fair.

You know that although she would never say it, it hurts her to know that despite all her good points and all the fun you two have, you don't think she's good enough to spend any real time with. Sure, it'smostly her fault, because she doesn't have to give in to your needs - she could really play hard-to-get. Bitch like the rest of them do, if she really wanted to. But you and she both know that she probably couldn't pull it off. Maybe she's too short, or a little overweight, or has big birthmark on her forehead, or works at Taco Bell, or just really not that type.

Whatever the reason, somehow life has given her a lot of really great qualities but has left out the ones that men want (or think they want) in a woman. So she remains forever the funny friend, the steadfast companion, the secret lover, and you go on searching for your goddess who will somehow be everything you ever wanted in a woman.

You'll joke to her that she should be the best man at your wedding, and she'll laugh and make a joke about a smelly rental tux.

She doesn't captivate you with her beauty, or open doors with her smile.

Mainly, she blends in with the crowd. She's safe. She doesn't want to be the center of attention and turn the heads of everyone in the room. But she wants to turn someone's head. She wants to be SPECIAL to someone, too. We all do.

She has feelings. She has heart. In fact, she probably has a bigger heart than any woman you've ever known because she's had a front-row seat to The Mess That Is Your Life, and she likes you anyway.

She obviously sees something worthwhile and redeeming in you because although you've given her nothing, absolutely no reason to still be around, she is.

- Anonymous

45 Lessons in 90 Years

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio.

To celebrate growing older, I wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It
 is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once
 more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and
 parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to
 disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their
 journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God
 never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you
 stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one
 is up to you and no one else
.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no
 for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.
 Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you
 did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,
 we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You
 already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

The Son

A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art. They had everything in their collection, from Picasso to Raphael. They would often sit together and admire the great works of art.

When the Vietnam conflict broke out, the son went to war. He was very courageous and died in battle while rescuing another soldier. The father was notified and grieved deeply for his only son.

About a month later, just before Christmas, there was a knock at the door. A young man stood at the door with a large package in his hands. He said, "Sir, you don't know me, but I am the soldier for whom your son gave his life. He saved many lives that day, and he was carrying me to safety when a bullet struck him in the heart and he died instantly. He often talked about you, and your love for art." The young man held out this package. "I know this isn't much. I'm not really a great artist, but I think your son would have wanted you to have this."

The father opened the package. It was a portrait of his son, painted by the young man. He stared in awe at the way the soldier had captured the personality of his son in the painting. The father was so drawn to the eyes that his own eyes welled up with tears. He thanked the young man and offered to pay him for the picture. "Oh, no sir, I could never repay what your son did for me. It's a gift." The father hung the portrait over his mantle. Every time visitors came to his home he took them to see the portrait of his son before he showed them any of the other great works he had collected.

The man died a few months later. There was to be a great auction of his paintings. Many influential people gathered, excited over seeing the great paintings and having an opportunity to purchase one for their collection.

On the platform sat the painting of the son. The auctioneer pounded his gavel. "We will start the bidding with this picture of the son. Who will bid for this picture?"

There was silence. Then a voice in the back of the room shouted, "We want to see the famous paintings. Skip this one." But the auctioneer persisted. "Will somebody bid for this painting? Who will start the bidding? $100, $200?"

Another voice angrily said, "We didn't come to see this painting. We came to see the Van Gogh's, the Rembrandts. Get on with the real bids!"

But still the auctioneer continued. "The son! The son! Who'll take the son?"

Finally, a voice came from the very back of the room. It was the longtime gardener of the man and his son. "I'll give $10 for the painting." Being a poor man, it was all he could afford.

"We have $10, who will bid $20?"

"Give it to him for $10. Let's see the masters." The crowd was becoming angry. They didn't want the picture of the son. They wanted the more worthy investments for their collections. The auctioneer pounded the gavel. "Going once, twice, SOLD for $10!"

A man sitting on the second row shouted, "Now let's get on with the collection!" The auctioneer laid down his gavel. "I'm sorry, the auction is over."

"What about the paintings?"

"I am sorry. When I was called to conduct this auction, I was told of a secret stipulation in the will. I was not allowed to reveal that stipulation until this time. Only the painting of the son would be auctioned. Whoever bought that painting would inherit the entire estate, including the paintings. The man who took the son gets everything!"

God gave His son 2,000 years ago to die on the cross. Much like the auctioneer, His message today is: "The son, the son, who'll take the son?" Because, you see, whoever takes the Son gets everything.

Sunday, November 08, 2009

Paano Magplano ng Suicide

Bago ang lahat, alamin muna ang tamang dahilan ng pagsu-suicide.. Kung ang problema mo ay dahil lang sa iniwan ka ng minamahal mo, di ka dapat magpatiwakal! Hello?! Ang mundo ay tambak ng mga tao na pwede mong mahalin kaya di ka dapat mawalan ng pag-asa.

Ngunit kung desidido ka na sa gagawin mo at sa tingin mo ay meron kang tamang dahilan para gawin ito, ang sunod mong gagawin ay ang pagpili ng paraan nito. Ang mga popular na paraan ay ang pagbigti, pag-inom ng lason, paglaslas, pagbaril sa sarili at pagpigil ng hininga.

(Note: 1. Tandaan na maari ka pang mabuhay pag nagkamali ka sa pagsasagawa ng mga nabanggit, kaya pumili lamang ng isa na hiyang sayo.)

(Note: 2. Alalahaning dyahe kung pagtitinginan ng mga tao ang mukha mo sa ataul na mukha kng dehydrated na langaw.)


Sumulat ng suicide note. Eto ang exciting! dito mo pwedeng sisihin lahat ng tao, at wala silang magagawa! Sabihin mo na di mo gustong tapusin ang iyong buhay kaso lang badtrip silang lahat! Pero wag ding kalimutang humingi ng tawad sa bandang huli para mas cool.

(Note: Tandaan na importanteng gumawa ng suicide note para malaman ng tao na nagsuicide ka at hindi na-murder! Sa ganitong paraan maiiwasan ng PNP ang pagkuha sa kalye ng kahit sinong tambay para gawing suspect.)

Isulat ng maayos ang suicide note. Print. Iwasan ang bura. Lagdaan.

(Note: Ilagay ang suicide note sa lugar kung saan madaling makita. Idikit sa noo!)

Pumili ng theme song. Banggitin ang iyong special request sa suicide note at ibilin na patugtugin sa libing.

(Note: Iwasan ang mga kanta ng Salbakutah! Jologs!! Dapat medyo mellow at meaningful.. para gayahin ng iba!)

Planuhin ang isusuot. Isang beses ka lng mamatay kaya dapat memorable ang get-up. Pumili ng telang di umuurong o makati sa katawan.

Magpareserve ng de-kalidad n kabaong. Maganda ang kulay na puti, mukang komportable. Huwag magtipid.

Pumili narin ng magandang pwesto sa sementeryo. Pumili ng di masikip.

(Note: Kung ikaw ay nabibilang sa Year of the rat, dragon, rabbit, tiger, beef or monster. Wag na mamili ng lilibingan sapagkat ang mga nabibilang sa taon na eto ay dapat i-cremate at gawing foot powder.. para gumaan ang pasok ng pera sa mga naiwan.)

Itaon ang araw ng iyong pagsu-suicide sayong favorite number sa calendar para masaya!

Kung naplano mo na lahat-lahat, mag-isip ng mabuti at paulit-ulit! Isipin na ang gagawin mo ay hindi kanais-nais at lubhang makasalanan! Pero pag desidido ka talaga... Good luck!

Atsaka paparty ka na rin muna before ka magpatiwakal nang may maganda ka ring memory na iiwan sa mga friends and family mo. Gawin mo nang bongga - wag kuripot. Make sure na may mga cute na bisita para sa mga single friends mo nang may nagawa ka namang kapaki-pakinabang before ka nadedo. At least pag may nagkatuluyan, maalala ka nila, like ay oo, si ano - we met the day before sya nagsuicide. Bongga yung party nun! Mag-invite ka ng bands - ay nako, kung may balak ka mag suicide, mag-ipon ka na. I'm sure mahal ang talent fee ng Hale kung gusto mo sila ang tutugtog ng 'The Day You Said Goodnight' sa burol mo.

And oo, make sure ding masarap ang kape sa burol a! Tsaka pwede wag na tetra pack na juice? Pwede punch na lang?!

Tapos ano, wag na biscuit-biscuit lang. Gawin mo ref cake. Masarap yun. Better yet, blueberry cheesecake! Tapos tuna carbonara, nachos and garlic dip, pizza, chicken, ano pa? Don't forget the drinks! mahaba-habang inuman to! Gawin mo parang fiesta, one of a kind!

Eto, suggestion, lagyan mo ng theme - pwedeng horror, o fantasy - imagine naka costume mga pupunta sa burol mo? Bongga di ba!?

O ano, excited ka na?

Mona Lisa Made of Coffee Cups

3,604 cups of coffee have been made into a giant Mona Lisa in Sydney, Australia. The 3,604 cups of coffee were each filled with different amounts of milk to create the different shades!!








Friday, November 06, 2009

Bathroom Mirror Prank

This is absolutely hilarious. Identical twins in identical rooms opposite each other and proceed to prank everyone who walks in.

Thursday, November 05, 2009

The Wooden Bowl

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year-old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered.

The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.

The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. "We must do something about Father," said the son. "I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor."

So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl.

When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The four-year-old watched it all in silence.

One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, "What are you making?" Just as sweetly, the boy responded, "Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up." The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.

The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.

That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

The Greatest Prank Call Ever

Just when you thought it was safe to get a job at a call center, this prank phone call proves that Karma exists, and Americans can fight back when it comes to unsolicited calls.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

9 Phrases Women Use

So true? Watch and be the judge.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Guitar-slash-Drums

Watch the performance of an acclaimed guitar duo. Who says guitars have to be used just one way?

Thursday, October 22, 2009

A Funny Guide to Taking Better Pictures

Very funny. But very true and helpful!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Balloon Boy Hoaxes Hitler

The president of the Hitler News Network (HNN) finds out the "Balloon Boy" story was all a hoax, and now he has to find a way to prevent his network from looking like fools.

This video is parody of the balloon boy incident.

Super Mario Proposal

In the guy's own words:

My nerdy way to propose. On October 15th 2009, it was our 5 year anniversary so I decided to propose. Using a program called Lunar Magic I was able to spell "Lisa... Will you marry me?" She may not look too surprised in the video but you should have seen her afterwards, she couldn't sit still!!! And no it wasn't staged, but I did sit her down, told her to play some Super Mario World, but she totally didn't know she was being recorded!!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Two Talking Tabbies

A couple of chatty kitties.

Here is the original video.




And here is the translated version. Thank God for cat language translators.

Explosive Cat Fight

Betrayed cat confronts lover. Thank God for cat language translators.

David Blaine Street Magic Spoofs





Saturday, October 17, 2009

Photo Booth Pranks

How far will people go for a free picture?